That is what Chad always says. Well that or, “someone will complain if you hang them with a brand new rope”… that one kind of eeeks me out so ya.

Anyway, I am trying to do as little complaining as I can lately. This may explain my lack of posts recently? Am I a super big complainer? I feel like I am off and on. I also feel like complaining is contagious. Like when my friends are telling me, or when I am reading about a shitty day on Tumblr, I suddenly remember all these little things that suddenly piss me off and my day seems a lot worse than it did before. 

Chad and I had an amazing time this weekend, we were super positive and it seemed like positivity just flowed to and around us. It can be tough sometimes. Chad’s back is no where near improving at all, and he tries his hardest to be helpful but I can tell that he is depressed and disheartened. I am always exhausted from constantly taking care of the twins, and Chad, and now myself. I have to take care of and invest in myself so that I can be present, happy, and healthy for my family. Jeez it is tiring though. 

Positivity though, that is what I am supposed to be rambling about… a couple of months ago I asked a family friend/co worker if he could possibly find a hook up for tickets to Coachellafest for Chad and I. This past Friday he had me pick up 2 all access wristbands. IT WAS AWESOME. Chad’s back held up pretty well (although he did need 2 days to recover), and we had a BLAST. 

You guys! I saw Alexander Skarsgard! UP CLOSE! I did not say hi though, he was too tall and good looking for me to be brave. Haha. Chad got to meet Al Barr, we saw Social D and the Descendants from the pits. It was rad. We kissed and made out and hugged. The twins went to the nanny’s house and came home in good spirits and not even a little out of whack. It was seriously just the best. It was like The Universe knew that we needed some love and fun time and just handed it over to us. 

I knit pick and stress over a lot of things that I don’t need to, but I have been trying to make a conscious effort to stop being such a debbie downer. I really feel like it has made a difference too. Obviously not everyday is going to be a magical amazing day where it just rains sunshine and lollipops, I mean I almost commited murder yesterday morning, but not every day needs to be as shitty as I can make it either. 

Today is a good day to have a good day.

xoxo-

Piggy

Hey all!

I have been pretty busy and the internet was down on the rez for a few days so I am pretty behind on the Tumbls. Have I missed anything big? Anything I need to know? 

I have some little things going on, nothing too exciting. 

I have finally figured out how to work a meal plan, which after the initial anxiety from worrying about choosing what to eat 4 days from the planning day wore off has been AWESOME.

We did all our shopping on Saturday. ALL OF IT. I haven’t had to pop into the store 20x every time I figure out what we are going to eat that day. Tonight we are having Chili Lime Crockpot Chicken, from a recipe that I found on a website called paleopot or something. It is all crockpot foods! So I am trying out a few recipes before it just gets too damn hot to leave the crockpot running all day. When it is 120 degrees out it is really hard to keep your house cooled to a “comfortable” temp.

So, yep. Stuff is real exciting over here.

xoxo-

Piggy

I went to the doctor today! 

She said that I have been doing very well following such a strict regimen and that most people cheat at least once or twice through out the detox. I HAVE NOT CHEATED AT ALL. I brought my body fat % down 5% so I am pretty excited about that!

I get to start the next, much more relaxed although still strict stage today! 

So I guess it isn’t really freedom, but after measuring out 3 oz of chicken breasts to steam tons of times.. it sure does feel like freedom.

Also, since my calorie count is going up I got the OK to start back at Bikram 3x a week so I am going back on Friday!

I am pretty excited you guys!

Friday sucked a big one, as you may have seen in my whole “this day should die in a fire” post.

Saturday was busy busy busy. We had plans to take the twins to my company spring picnic and have them participate in their first Easter egg hunt, but Chad was feeling ill so my mom and I took the twins without him. OMFG 2 adults to 2 toddlers is not a fun ratio. Especially considering that the mother of the toddlers forgot the fucking stroller. Torture. Absolute torture. Well, THEY had fun at least. They snacked on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, chicken nuggets, mini corn dogs, and fruit, while I sat with them in my lap smelling all the delicious snacks that aren’t on my diet plan. Ya’ll I am pretty impressive… just saying.

Anywho, I decided to not have the twins participate in the egg hunt because I really didn’t want Chad to miss their first one. Plus the age group was 1-3 and I was more than a little convinced that some of the bigger kids were going to plow over my littles. So we went to Target and stocked up on a few things then home, where the babes took a blessed 3 hour nap. 

Then I cleaned like a mad woman, made dinner, made and scarfed my special dinner, and started getting ready to go see Matchbox 20 (which was completely awesome by the way). Our sitter is seriously the sweetest girl! The twins love her. By girl I mean 21 year old but she is like 5 feet tall and makes me feel old so I call her a little girl. We were home at midnight, asleep by 1 and up at 8. I pretty much LOVE this whole sleeping through the night thing that we have , for the most part (ahem Patience) have being enjoying. 

Sunday morning, I got up, made oat pancakes (from scratch) and sausage eggs for everyone but me, then cleaned up the kids and “hid” some empty plastic eggs in our tribal park so we could watch them find them. Patience really got it. She was able to double fist 2 eggs in each hand and even was trying to stick them in her shirt. Haha, just wait until we actually start putting stuff IN the eggs. Cash found one egg and just sat and played with if for about 15 minutes. He also found a wasp. He found it with his ear. He had no allergic reaction but it was VERY scary and so sad! My poor boy.

Speaking of Cash, I finally heard from the Urologist’s office today and they couldn’t give him an appointment until May 9th! Luckily he still isn’t in any pain “down there”, but that is so far away! Not to mention that it is 2 days before we fly to Florida to leave on our Disney Cruise! So I have no idea if they are going to want to do a procedure ASAP and we will have to cancel? I did buy insurance that reimburses us our money if we have to cancel for medical reasons. 

I wonder if I can find another urologist? I am not prepared for this kind of adulting. 

Also, I am pretty sure that today is the last day of this phase of my detox diet! Woooo hoooooo…. 

Ok, well it hasn’t been a whole week. He left on Monday morning and he will be back this evening. 4 sleeps. 

I was completely prepared for hell. I had no idea how I was going to do it! How am I supposed to get up, get ready, go to work, be on a super strict diet, and take care of twins all by myself for 4.5 days? 

It actually hasn’t been that hard. I mean, Monday night sucked big time because Patience woke up hysterical and wouldn’t calm down for over an hour in the middle of the night and decided that after two weeks without nursing she just couldn’t live without boob for the night. Other than that though, I have realized how little time I really get to spend with my kids during a mostly regular week. 

Like I hang out with them in the morning kinda, but I am getting ready for work/doing work on my laptop and just constantly checking on them while they eat Mum Mums and totter around watching TV kind of. Then the nanny comes and I finish getting ready and head out the door. Then I get home from work and hang out with them for about 45 minutes before I start making dinner. Around dinner time my mom usually comes over (everyday this week) and “helps”, which is mostly just keeping me company and helping me clean them up once they are done smearing food in their hair. Then an hour of play time. At 8pm the lights get dimmed and it is time for jammas and bedtime bottles, then lights out around 8:30-45. Wash, rinse, repeat. 

On Wednesday I worked from my phone so I could spend the day with them since I knew that they would be missing Dada. That was fun, but holy cheesus it was a lot of work. Oh ya, earlier that day I got a shot that I had a horrid reaction to and my right arm was totally bum, so that didn’t help.

So ya, all three of us are alive… I did make a trip to the craft store yesterday to pick up stuff to do a fun Easter project with the twins though… because you know, overcompensating working mom syndrome.

(2 more weeks)

The other day I asked how old you were when you were allowed to start wearing make up, and how often you wear it now. I got a decent amount of replies so thank you ladies for your input.

The reason that I even thought to ask the question is because this:

That is my make up drawer. That is my make up drawer AFTER I did a clean out and got rid of some products that I felt like I would never use. I had just read an entry from a very popular blog where the writer could fit all her make up into one small (to me) cosmetics bag. So then of course I started wondering if I am walking around looking like Tammy Faye and everyone is afraid to tell me in case I decide to imprison their souls in a tube of BB cream.

So ya. I have a lot of make up. I know that I have a lot of make up, but what I didn’t realize is that I might possibly be a borderline cosmetics hoarder! I mean look at that drawer! LOOK AT IT! Do I really need that much product? 

The first step is admitting that you have a problem. The second step is finding a way to blame your parents for said problem. You see I was strictly not allowed to wear ANY make up until I turned 14, however I remember wanting to wear make up so badly way before then. I would get so excited to spend the night at friend’s houses and play with their make up. I would hide clear lipgloss like it was a heroin stash. I would pour over TeenBeat or whatever other magazines I had and look and analyze anything that had to do with make up. Then on my birthday my mother took me to Macy’s and we sat at the Dior counter so that I could be shown how to properly apply powder (which later I found out was translucent, then figured out what that meant), brown mascara, and a neutral blush. I am pretty sure that my adolescent brain was like, are you fucking kidding me right now? I have waited forever and a day for this moment and you are giving me permission to look basically exactly the same? But, you have to take what you can get when you are 14 years old, iknowyoufeelme.

So, flash forward 15 years and scroll back up to that crazy hoard drawer of make up. Now, I don’t really know if my above first world problem story actually has anything to do with it, but it probably didn’t help? Plus it is a convenient way to rationalize the fact that I can’t throw away some weird shade of blue eye shadow because, oh my god what if I find the perfect outfit to wear that with. 

Alright, we have established that I was 14 before I was allowed to wear any make up (also that I might be a bit defensive). Now the second part of my question: I wear make up almost every day. Like, if I leave the house, I have product on my face 90% of the time. I mean, it isn’t as if I wear PROM make up every day, but I just love to put make up on. I think it is fun! I like the routine! I also like the ability to drastically change my appearance day to day, without actually changing my appearance. Most of my friends wear make up with the same frequency as I do too. Now I have to wonder if we look like a small army of Tammy Faye devotees walking around Southern California terrifying people as we pass them in the supermarket. 

I think I am going to try downsizing my make up collection again tonight… ha! No I won’t I will probably start playing with it and make snow angels in the big pile of cosmetics. 

Today I realized that instead of Saturday nights, Australians watch UFC on Sunday mornings.
Not even kidding you, MIND BLOWN.

I am doing really well with this asshole eating plan but late at night I want to eat all the imaginary food. The food isn’t really imaginary though since the cabinets are stocked with actual food.

I tried transitioning the twins to one long nap instead of 2 shorter and shorter ones today, what a cluster fuck that was. Hopefully tomorrow goes better.

I have a major spring cleaning bug right now. My house is such a disordered mess it gives me anxiety and it just seems like no matter what I do there is more stuff. How does the child of a hoarder end up cohabiting with a boarder line hoarder?

I need to sleep, but I can’t.

mamamusement replied to your post: This little piggy…

Mine was 14 too! Twinsies! (I have thyroid stuff too.) Vitamin D & ditching my veggie diet helped me immensely. New bloodtest in May. *fingers cossed (for us both)*

Super twinsies!!! I am going on prescription drops and a prescribed diet so she thinks that that will help a lot. My thyroid stuff came back ok so I guess the stuff I did last summer helped a lot. I have another issue though, but I am waiting to write about it.

See this picture? This picture is me! Outside! In the sun! 5 years younger! And a lot more fit! 

Ugh. 

I have been in and out of the doctor’s office the past few weeks having some blood work done and getting ready to do a drastic detox type diet.

On Tuesday when I sat down with my Naturopath we wen’t over my labs and she told me that my vitamin D levels were low. The number came in at 14 to be exact. So I was like cool, how do I get up to 20? Get some extra (or any at all) sun? She giggled a bit then told me that the normal range is  60-80. Um.. Ok. Hahahahahahaaha I live in one of the sunniest places in the world but I spend 99.5 percent of my time in a windowless office or at home indoors. Hahahahahahaahahaha, life you are so funny! 

So anyway, it wasn’t really surprising when she then told me that my bilirubin levels are slightly high (and no it wasn’t the wine that I drank the night before the blood draw), since I hardly ever see the light of day.

So! Cheers to this detox! I start tomorrow and I am a little nervous… I am probably going to be bitching a lot over the next couple of weeks. I am also going to make a huge effort to get outside more this month and see if I can keep my complexion from looking like a jaundiced newborn. Also, this better be the kick in the butt I need to reach my birthday (not until September) goal.

29 and lookin fine!

xoxoxo- Piggy

Or one of those people who is always standing behind a celeb on the red carpet. You know, like “almost important”.

Yesterday a girlfriend of mine asked if I could answer 7 interview questions for a paper that she needed to write. I guess she needed to interview someone from a different ethnic group than herself and she thought that I would be really interesting! Little did she know, I am not. 

I just wanted to let ya’ll know that someone thinks that I am interesting and junk.